“After You, Dear…”
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
She approached one of the women for an explanation. “This is marvelous,” said the journalist. “What enabled the women to achieve this reversal of roles?” Replied the Kuwaiti woman: “Land mines.”
I quit flying years ago. I don’t want to die with tourists.
– Billy Bob Thornton
Elaine Dickinson, Dr. Rumack, Randy, and Ted Striker – “Flying on Instruments”
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You Know it’s a No-Frills Airline if…
You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.
All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
They don’t sell tickets – they sell chances.
You can’t board the plane unless you have exact change.
The Captain asks the passengers if they could all chip in a little for gas.
All their planes have a bathroom and a chapel.
Where does virgin wool come from? From the sheep that runs the fastest.
– Harry F. Banks
A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.
The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. “So you buried all the politicians?” asked the police officer. “Were they all dead?”
The farmer answered, “Some said they weren’t, but you know how politicians lie.”